Life Lessons

As Annalise grows up, I am plagued by memories of my childhood, the good....and the bad. I have learned some pretty interesting things so far and I want EB to benefit from my knowledge. It is fortunate that I have such a freaking weird an interesting family from which to glean worldly wisdom.

I know...
 It's a good idea to keep a canister of oatmeal cookies in your house for when people visit.
You can catch a bird if you can put salt on its tail.
The concept of "natural hair color" is really just an urban myth.
It's ok for moms to occasionally subsist on Coca-Cola and rice crispy treats.
What kind of car you drive does not define you as a person.
Loving your child with all your heart does not equal spoiling them.
It really does make a difference when you read to/with your children.
Everyone has housekeeping secrets: cluttered closets, dirty pans hidden in the oven, a tupperware avalanche waiting to happen. That's life.
When life is chaotic and out of control, you can always change your hair.
Sometimes people really do have "shifty eyes...like a cat" in which case, trust your gut.
Wine is made from grapes, so that makes it like a fruit, which we need 3 servings of a day.
Rice and beans is an excellent meal anytime of the week.
When in doubt: travel.
Cats are people, too.
Walk somewhere everyday.
When traveling, follow the locals.
Tell the women you love that they look incredible, even if they haven't lost an ounce of baby weight.
Own an air mattress.
Watch foreign films through Netflix.
Black pants (the comfortable kind) are an acceptable clothing choice any day of the week.
Own a pair of Keen sandals.
Always be a gracious bitch, because no one likes confrontation!
Know your favorite flower.
Be as generous as you possibly can.
Write thank-you notes.
Destroy unflattering pictures of your loved ones.
A cunning wit is a modern woman's multi-tool; keep it sharp and with you at all times.
Try at least one bite, even if it looks ghastly.
It really is alright to hate OPKs (other people's kids).
Try to avoid compromising the entire aisle or hallway, no one likes to see a "galloping herd of wildebeests" coming at them in the galleria.
Never turn down free furniture.
Mac trumps PC. Hands down.
Luggage weight limitations do not always apply.
At least attempt to keep it classy.
There is no such thing as "too many purses."
Breastfeeding is important and natural.
Learn the value of plain old-fashioned oatmeal.
Have a go-to dish for when you have company over: Sante Fe soup, Roast Beef, Sausage Stuffed Pork-Chops, Clam Chowder....Take-Out
Know what not to cook, we aren't all wizards in the kitchen.
Acquiesce to the pregnant one.
Help a family member in need.
Send cards.
Get the recipe.
Practice table manners.
Use correct grammar.
Pink champagne is for anniversaries.
Don't underestimate the beauty of a well-done monogram.
Drink tea.
Let your child ride the carousel.
Read.
Grow a garden.
Acknowledge your "inability to carry a tune in a bucket" before belting out a song before a group.
Know the true meaning of "interesting."
Nod and smile.
Know that there is nothing wrong with having a freakishly huge head.
Carry snacks in your bag (hungry toddlers are bad, but hungry husbands are the worst.)
Acknowledge the contribution of others.