A is for "Adultery" (not mine)

Today I went grocery shopping. Not entirely surprising for those who know that military paychecks post on the 1st and 15th of the month. Fortunately for me, most people don't do their shopping at 9:45am on a Thursday. The commissary was pretty well deserted but for the few retirees, myself, another (obvious) SAHM who looked more than relieved to be shopping solo, and an annoyingly affectionate couple. GOD I wanted to throw a jar of pickles at them. They would walk around holding hands and stop to kiss in the juice aisle. I had to ask them to move so I could get a bottle of eb's Welch's White Grape and Peach juice.
(redplum.com had a $1 off coupon).
I crossed paths with the couple in the international foods aisle (they were blocking the furikake), the dairy aisle (unable to get to the string cheese), and finally in the check out lane. I guess because there were a whopping 6 people shopping this morning, they didn't deign to open more than two lanes. One was the express lane, I definitely had more than 15 items.
SO, I got to stand behind tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum and hear their inane chatter about what they should do this weekend. Oh, he's busy? That's ok, maybe next weekend. Blah-blah-Kate Gosselin-blurdy-blur-isn't this nice? grocery shopping together? it's like we're married!-gag-puke-
I wanted to claw my ears from my skull. If they were just SO happy to be together WHY were they at the commissary at 10am and not out frolicking or at home?
Well the answer came strolling in the front door with two kids not 5 minutes later. As soon as the guy saw (what turned out to be his wife and children) he jumps behind me in line and grabs a soda, some candy and a magazine to make it look like he had just popped into the commissary for a little snacky-snack.
Oh, but she was not to be dissuaded from her course. (and let me interject that it is DIFFICULT to blatantly eavesdrop while loading groceries onto the belt).
The woman, let's call her "Wife" storms up to her husband and just stands there staring at him.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I am just getting something to eat."
"Really? You came all the way to the commissary for a coke, Twix, and MensHealth? Really?"
"Yeah, why are you so angry."
"I'm angry because I'm not f*ing stupid or blind."
"What?"
This is where she points at the giant wall of windows opposite the check-out lanes. (At this point, the Other Woman was making a hasty exit).
"I SAW you with her."
The man began to stutter something about "not what she thought"
Wife turned..hmm...what's the color...let me consult my Martha Stewart complete paint palette index..hmm somewhere between Terra Rose and Bergamot.
She let loose a tirade of expletives and threats which I don't care to recount here.
I, of course, did the mature thing and texted EmilySuh to tell her what I was witnessing.

As I exited the store, I could still hear her yelling at him. While making my way to my car (my cart was being pushed by Grandfather Time...the deaf one) I noticed that the Other Woman was nervously putting her groceries in (what I can only assume is) her car. She gave me one of those "Can you freaking believe that woman" looks as I passed by. I gave a "As a married woman, yes I can freaking believe her" looks in return.



I just feel bad for their poor kids. Fortunately, they looked to be maybe 6mos old and 2. Here's hoping they don't remember any of this.